My 16 year old daughter had to have a simple surgery today, and what was supposed to be a routine ambulatory procedure turned into a moment of absolute white knuckled panic.
She’s never had any surgery. Nothing more invasive then a cavity filled. She’s never had blood drawn, or an IV. She was nervous. She was angsty. And I reassured her over and over that she was being silly, and making a bigger production out of it then needed be and anything else I could say or do to downplay her fear.
She walked to the OR without me. I kissed her goodbye, and told her I loved her and would see her when she got out.
And then her 15 min surgery turned into an hour and 10 min.
The 4 centimeter incision they were supposed to make turned into a 12 centimeter one. Her cyst was excised and will be biopsied. And she received 18 stitches.
While in recovery, her oxygen levels went from 97 to 76. She was gray. She was unresponsive. She looked horrible. And it was then…in that 12 minutes it took for the nurse and anesthesiologist to rush to her bedside and figure out what was wrong, that I lost my mind.
I think I went deaf. I couldn’t hear anything. Everyone sounded like flapping bird wings. My face got hot. My heart started to race and for 720 seconds, I don’t think I made one sound, or moved one inch.
She is fine now. Just a reaction to the anesthesia. But the idea that a simple operation could spiral so out of control makes me realize how fragile life is. We are all barely holding on and at any moment we could lose everything that means anything to us. And even though I’m sure she’s sick of me, I haven’t stopped kissing her face since.
I’m so so glad she’s okay.